Monday, January 29, 2018

Hyde Park beset by Purloiner of Pink Pussy Hats! Enters Victorian Home Foyers Stealing Coats and Mail Daily. Police Are Perplexed...

The only reason Abong is not wearing the
Pink Pussy Hat she stole from my friend
Jinks last Monday is:
KCPD did not seize it as evidence. 
They just handed it back to the victim,
who was laughing hysterically with 911 operators
as she reclaimed five items this perpetual thief
had just stolen from Jinks' unlocked foyer.

First of all, I'm shocked that Hyde Park homeowners leave their front doors unlocked nowadays.

But they do.  And a man on the "unofficial Hyde Park neighborhood Facebook page" shared this photo of the mentally ill woman who keeps opening their front doors and pilfering through their foyers and coat racks at their front doors.

She is also widely known to steal mail.  She has her alibi at the ready when challenged.  "I'm her sister, just here to take in the mail and check on things," she yells.

If she is disappointed by the mail, (and who isn't, nowadays), she litters it about the yards around 36th and Campbell.  So far none of the homeowners have asked the US Postal Service to prosecute her for mail fraud.  KCPD do nothing about that.

The KCPD arrests her frequently.  Just like last Monday--she was taken into custody, and because she was clever and knew the drill.  She feigned "heart palpitations".  Thus, she immediately got a free $1000 ride via ambulance with a fire truck escort to Truman Medical Center for what amounts to an informal tax-subsidized 'spa day'-- of warmth, a sponge bath, several hot meals, a conversation with staff and lots of kind and loving 'observation'.  She was out by Wednesday--and captured once again on camera by the Hyde Park neighbors.

The neighbors tell me they know she is mentally ill.  They don't feel she is dangerous, or armed.  So they worry, codependently, that she might get shot if she breaks and enters a home where the owner uses a gun.  "Stand Your Ground" rules vary depending on the frailty or disability of the homeowner being invaded, I am told by experts.  It just takes one.

Something else I did not know: Western Missouri Mental Health Center closed a few years ago.  That is the kind of place we used to take folks who are mentally ill, rather than common criminals.

One of the neighbors has chatted with her, claiming her name is Abong.  She has a court date coming up, because Jinks, my friend from Sunday morning coffee in my old Hyde Park neighborhood, pressed charges.  We will know more, then.

And the man who snapped this  Facebook picand posted it Wed. night claimed Abong often wears the same blue bandanna.  And carries two shopping bags, which she stuffs full of her "finds" of the day.  She does not appear to sleep outdoors--she just loves day shopping in the lovely and unlocked Victorian foyers of Hyde Park.

So what happened to the Pink Pussy Hat?
Jinks, who has a long history of being a SJW/social justice warrior and foster care advocate, was phoned by a frail neighbor two doors away on Campbell, the 3600 block.  "I think someone's breaking into my house...would you go check?"

Fearless and unarmed, except for her cell phone, Jinks saunters over to her neighbor's front sidewalk.  She calls out to Abong, who gives her the standard, "No problem.  I belong here.  This is my sister's house..."  

Jinks says, "No, it's not.  We know all our neighbors.  The real owner is upstairs. You need to leave...NOW!"  Jinks then phones 911 as she walks home, even tho Abong is now following her,  muttering loudly and incoherently, waving her arms.  

911 operator asks, "What is she wearing?"  

Jinks starts describing her pursuer: "Wearing a pink cap, a brown and grey striped scarf, a grey coat--...wait just a darn minute:  that's MY striped scarfAnd that's my coat.  And Hell's bells--that is MY Pink Pussy Hat that my best friend knit especially for me, last year for the Women's March!!  This woman must have robbed ME on her way to my neighbor's!!!

By this time, both Jinks and the 911 operator are laughing uncontrollably, barely able to dispatch the call.  KCPD responded VERY quickly--about three minutes, on this Monday midday (right after the mailman had delivered.).  The officers then appropriately made Jinks stand many feet away.  And as Abong the Chronic Thief disrobed, instead of seizing each garment as evidence, which is customary, and policy--the cops just handed them back to Jinks!

In the two shopping bags were her down-filled puffy vest and another coat.  A total of five items, including the "priceless and irreplaceable Pink Pussy Hat."  Her artist friend is out of pink yarn and could not recreate it.

Jinks muttered to the officer, "Hey, we also had two cans of Boulevard chocolate beer sitting there just inside our front door, to keep it cold.  Nobody liked the flavor.  See if she got that, too!"

But alas, Abong had not stolen the two chocolate ales.  Say what you will, she may just have a Courvoisier taste on a beer budget...

So Jinks got her Pink Pussy Hat back.  And after her release from the hospital, Abong was photographed once again in Hyde Park (now she's on Facebook!) and toddling toward Troost.  She is well known there among merchants, and has been caught shooting up in store restrooms.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Governor Duct Tape--on the verge of being pushed out as Mo Governor?? A photo essay...

Here is the current pic of Missouri Governor Eric Greitens, aka Governor Duct Tape.  With his reluctant wife, Sheena, following his admitting he tied up a hairdresser with duct tape in the Greitens' basement, and had Bondage and Domination style sex with her, while Sheena was in labor at the hospital delivering Greitens' second child in 2015.

"Eric, you arrogant narcissistic asshole.  I'm stuck here singing Tammy Wynette, while I figure out how I'm supposed to support myself and our two kids.  I need a good lawyer.  And you need to find a new job.  Maybe you can be the spokesman for Duct Tape???"

Happier times.  Greitens and Sheena's first date

Governor Duct Tape's fantasy with the hairdresser in his basement: feral love.
Oh, scratch my neck--that feels SOOOOO good!

Greitens and his prom date--his
fascination with duct tape and guns goes WAY back.

It's no wonder Greitens was attracted to the hairdresser. 
He told her: "Darlin, you had me with that 12 pack of Budweiser...
brewed just 4 miles from my wife's house! 
Oh, hold on, that's her calling from the hospital--
she's dilated to 7 centimeters. 
Hush for a second--don't make any moaning sounds--
I gotta take this call!"

Waiting for the next shoe to drop?  The St. Louis Post Dispatch
is interviewing MORE of Governor Duct Tape's hotties this week. 
This one was his Homecoming date in college--
before he became a Rhodes Scholar. 
And a Navy Seal. 
And yes, that is an Arabic symbol on her skirt.
Such a turn-on...

Here, Greitens is practicing for his upcoming job interview--
as a hand model and spokesman promoting Duct Tape.
Camo duct tape--it's what's for breakfast.
Former Governor Duct Tape is coming soon
to a Home Depot or Menard's near you.
Autographs and selfies $7, make checks payable
to the Sheena Greitens Alimony Fund.